Finally. A ray of hope cuts through the black cloud of fear that has engulfed our country since 9-11. I don't expect a miracle, but I feel like there's a chance for things to improve at last. In times when I am not sure if I'll see my third consecutive employer close their doors, when keeping the home I worked so hard for feels like an unrealistic dream, it's amazing to have SOME reason for optimism. Congratulations to the President-elect. Now get ready to get to work and try to FIX this cluster-fuck.
Oh, and McCain was super-classy and conciliatory in his concession speech. I was really impressed.
Found this online, yes I DID post it as a Myspace bulletin too, as well as on my 1up blog, so if you actually read those, feel free to skip this. Again, it wasn't credited, so I can't credit it either. if anybody recognizes it, let me know and I will give credit where it is due.
A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
Well, I can't say that I am surprised, but here's a link to the trailer for a new movie. This ought to be pretty sad. The whole "Let's roll" thing was so clearly invented to give people something to feel good about and rally around in that dark time. Is there really anyone who doesn't believe that the plane was shot down at this point?
Nine Inch Fucking Nails at the River Dome (aka Toledo Sports Arena) tonight. Awesome, awesome show. I've ALWAYS wanted to see them, waited over 10 years, and it was totally worth it. It was one of those shows that left you feeling physically drained, yet totally ready to keep going all night. I am in my ear-ringing glory right now.
It was, as ever, interesting seeing the blend of people at the show. From your die-ard metal-head East Siders to your Goth night refugees, with a generous helping of frat boy thrown in. Definitely saw way too many guys who had no business taking their shirts off doing so. Saw a fair bit of head-to-toe pleather too (are they frigging nuts? In the Hotbox Sports Arena???).
We managed to avoid being unwillingly inducted into a mosh pit. Lisa DID get to throw an elbow though, AND watch someone else get paid back for it. Someone has a karma raincheck coming! I definitely feel way more familiar with a couple dozen people than I ever wanted. General admission leads to all kinds of intimacy. I had more boobs on me tonight than I've gotten in nearly 10 years of marriage. We're just not going to talk about the fact that half of them were sweaty man-boobs. Guh.
Trent Reznor still puts on a great show. Stalking around the stage with brooding intensity and energy. It amazes me how much he has beefed up now. Kind of jarring. What are Glenn Danzig's guns doing on Trent? But I digress, I think Reznor's one of the few people who can manage to not look like a sissy playing a tamborine. The lights and stage show were impressive. A thin gauzy curtain doubled as a movie screen, while still allowing the band to be seen. The video show consisted of the expected disturbing images, including one George W., whom I might add, got soundly booed. Eat that, Bush!
It was a fantastic night. I couldn't make myself pay $45 for a t-shirt, but I'll remember the show forever anyway. They closed out the show with Dead Souls followed by Head Like A Hole. It just doesn't get much better than that.
On a personal note, I have a couple of job oppurtunities that have popped up recently. I took the test for the BP Refinery, AND took the Pipefitter's Apprenticeship test. These would both be GOOD (as in Get Out Of Debt!) jobs, with excellent benefits. I can't say I am overjoyed about the idea of doing either job, but I don't really love Automotive production either. The good news about my relative ambivalence towards the jobs is that I should manage to stay loose and de-stressed. I have an interview on 2-28-06 with the Pipefitters, and BP should get back to me within 2 weeks to let me know if I have moved on to the next round in their hiring process. Of course the job I'm REALLY hoping pans out is the one I applied for earlier today; Mega Millions winner. It's up to $175 mil right now. I think that would just about cover my expenses! I am defintely thinking that I WILL have to keep looking though. We are hearing rumblings now that they may NOT be adding a 3rd shift to my line like they have told us that they would do since I first got hired in. Now they are considering trying to do the work with 10 hour shifts instead. Let's see, a new-product launch and the very-real possibility of Jeep working 3 8s compared to our 2 10's makes me think that our 10 hour shifts will most likely be 12 hour shifts. Probably 6 days worth. So NOT going to last with me. Mother Murray's baby boy works to live, not lives to work. Oh well. Hopefully it doesn't end up happening.
EDIT: I just got an email with the Mega Millions results. I still have to go to work tomorrow. Damn!
After all of these years as a Bengals fan, I guess I should be used to things like this, but still...hangs noose over rafter In all seriousness though, I hope that he does recover. He's such a great player, so early in his career.
I can't believe it's nearly time for me to go back to work already. These 3 weeks have FLOWN past. I'd love to tell you that it'll be good to go back because I'm so bored sitting at home, but I'm not going to lie to anybody. I've been having a ball and hate going back so soon. The money will be nice though. *Sobs*
It is always so infinitely easy for me to find stuff for myself while I'm Christmas shopping then gifts for others. I think next year, I'm just going to spend all the money that I would normally spend on presents on ME. Okay, not really, but MAN was I seeing a lot of stuff that I wanted today. The lines were absolutely ridiculous at the stores. Perhaps next year I'll actually start a bit earlier. (Not going to happen.) Online shopping hasn't gone much smoother for me this year, one of the gifts I ordered was out of stock, another order was canceled. NEITHER company bothered to send me an email telling me that I wasn't going to be getting my shit. So, of course I didn't find out until it was too late to order someplace else/ something different. Ugh. I am starting to get to the point where I can call myself done though. I might pick up a few odds and ends, but the bulk of this nightmare is over. Now on to wrapping. Shit! *Bangs head on wall*
In other news, I am completely and utterly stoked. Nine Inch Nails is coming to town, and I am GOING. Hallelujah.
I am going to have 3 weeks off of work after the holiday. Our christmas vacation is being extended by a shut-down because the Jeep plant we supply to is expanding. This would normally be phenomenally good news, but it's kinda tempered by the fact that I am only going to be paid for ONE of those weeks. I'll get vacation pay for the first week, but then I would normally have to depend on Unemployment. The only problem with THAT is, Unemployment somehow managed to screw up and over-pay me by $600 when I was laid off from Alcoa. So now, until that money is made up, I get no unemployment compensation. Bastards. Somehow I think if they had UNDER-paid me, I would just be S.O.L now. Oh well. What are ya gonna do? I took some money from my 401k to cover the house payment, so I should be okay, but it is going to be tight.
I got the job! Whoopeee! Whoo hoo! Yee haw! Thank the Lord, I got the job. I start at Johnson Controls next Monday. I will still be doing nearly 12 hour days for a month or so, but part of that 12 is the 1 hour ride (on the bus) each way. Which I will be paid for. That's right, I will be getting paid to sleep. Can't beat that. The whole busssing us up there thing will end in July. I can hang for that long.The plant I will ultimately be working at is down the road from Alcoa, but the line is currently at the JCI plant in Taylor, MI. We are bussing up there b/c they want to get everyone trained and up to speed before they move the line to Northwood. They are bringing us in in waves to replace the Taylor plant employees a few at a time until, eventually, everyone on the line is from Northwood. I will be on day shift at the very least into July. I'm hoping it lasts all Summer. If not though, I hear they don't work OT anywhere NEAR as much as the hole I'm at now. They actually follow the 2 saturdays worked, 1 Saturday off rule too. They don't force their employees to come in and clean and paint on their ONE chance of having a week-end off. I am SO glad to be out of this job! I will actually have a BIT more time to play video games. Wow. What a concept. Actually do something I enjoy. Huh. Crazy.
Okay. Johnson Controls (the job I was waiting for) called me today. They want to interview me. Great, right? The sticky part is that they are hiring everybody Temp. So,I would have to work for (I assume) 500 hours, THEN got through my 90 day probationary period. That's like half a year of keeping my mouth shut and not missing or being late at all. I'm not sure that I have that in me! Also, It will be a pay-cut until I get through my Temp period. Like a $3 an hour paycut. The top-out is like $4 an hour more though. JCI also has a better long-term outlook than Lear (One line will end this July at Lear, and another next summer). Also, these long hours absolutely kill me. I positively HATE the shift that I am on. I have NO life. I work from 4-2:15 on good days, but the good days are far and few between. The rest of the time I'm working until either 3am or 4:30 am. Kenny no likey overtime. I'm so confused. I know that I am putting the cart before the horse a little here, cause I haven't even had my interview yet (it's May 5th), but really...I'll GET the job. They're hiring a lot of people, and I am just that damned good. :P So, which mind-numbing factory job do I take, or do I go the irresponsible route, the one that I'd be happy with? I KNOW I could probably go back to the comic shop, but the pay would never be as much as I could get at those other places, and no benefits. I would actually ya know...ENJOY life then though. Ugh. Did I EVER mention that being an adult really sucks? I'm SURE that I musta. I'm sure I will again, too.
I'm so excited. On May 12th, MTV is going to be broadcasting a show debuting the new Xbox! I just can't wait. It will be releasing next Xmas.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. What the Hell is Zach DeLaRocha up to these days anyway? I am going to have to Google him.
My second day at work was okay, I guess. I got off a smidge earlier. 1:50 instead of 3. I am still WAY not enamored of those work hours, and I detest working a ton of overtime, especially on second shift. But I guess i'll try to stick it out. Being an adult is fun!!! *Sarcasm detector is ringing*